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The meaning of the lyrics of the song "Your Horoscope for Today" by the artist ""Weird Al" Yankovic"

The meaning behind Weird Al Yankovic's "Your Horoscope for Today" is to satirize traditional horoscopes. Instead of offering vague, generalized advice or predictions like most horoscopes, Yankovic's lyrics are full of absurd, humorous, and often unpleasant scenarios.

For instance, Aquarius is encouraged to fill the void in their life by playing Whac-A-Mole for 17 hours a day, while Pisces is advised to avoid Virgos and Leos infected with the Ebola virus. Aries is promised a charming face after swallowing a 40-pound watermelon.

Yankovic employs hyperbole, ridiculous imagery, and dark humor to highlight the absurdity and meaninglessness of horoscopes. The song mocks those who take horoscopes seriously, implying that one should not rely on astrology for life decisions.

Despite the sarcastic tone, the song is not devoid of positivity. There's a sense of optimism, especially in the chorus, where the phrase "Here's your horoscope for today!" is repeated. This phrase is delivered cheerfully, as if Yankovic is saying that despite all the misfortunes described in the horoscope, life goes on.

Aquarius

There's travel in your future

When Your tongue freezes to the

Back of a speeding bus

Fill that void in your life

By playing Whack-A-Mole

Seventeen hours a day

Pisces

Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos

With the Ebola virus

You are the true Lord of the Dance,

No matter what those idiots

At work say

Aries

The look on your face will be priceless

When you find that forty

Pound watermelon in your colon

Trade toothbrushes

With an albino dwarf,

Then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus

You will never find true happiness —

What you gonna do, cry about it?

The stars predict tomorrow

You'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff,

And then go back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today

(that's your horoscope for today)

That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today

(that's your horoscope for today)

That's your horoscope for today

Gemini

Your birthday party

Will be ruined once again

By your explosive flatulence

Your love life will run into trouble

When your fiance hurls a

Javelin through your chest

Cancer

The position of Jupiter says

Wou should spend the rest of the

Week face down in the mud

Try not to shove a roll of duct tape

Up your nose while taking

Your driver's test

Leo

Now is not a good time to photocopy

Your butt and staple it to

Your boss's face, oh no

Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding,

Then wash it down with

A gallon of strawberry, Quick

Virgo

All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent —

Except for you

Expect a big surprise

Today when you Wind up with your head impaled

On a stick

That's your horoscope for today

(that's your horoscope for today)

That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today

(that's your horoscope for today)

That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable

Or at the very least a bit

Unlikely that the relative position

Of the planets and the stars

Could have a special deep significance

Or meaning that txclusively

Applies to only you,

But let me give you my assurance that these

Forcasts and predictions are all based on

Solid, scientific, documented

Evidence.

So you would have to be some kind of moron

Not to reaize that every single one

Of the is absolutely true.

Where was I?

Libra

A big promotion is just

Around the corner for someone much more

Talented than you

Laughter is the very best medicine,

Remember that when your appendix

Bursts next week

Scorpio

Get ready for an unexpected

Trip when you call screaming from

An open window

Work a little harder

On improving your low self-esteem,

You stupid freak

Sagittarius

All your friends are laughing behind Your back

(kill them)

Take down all those

Naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine

You've got hanging in your den

Capricorn

The stars say that you're

An exciting and wonderful person, but

You know they're lying

If I were you, I'd lock

My doors and Windows

And never never never never never

Leave my house again

That's your horoscope for today

(that's your horoscope for today)

That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today

(that's your horoscope for today)

That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today

(that's your horoscope for today)

That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today

(Yay yay yay yay yay)

That's your horoscope for today

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