The meaning of the lyrics of the song "30 Days Back" by the artist "White Buffalo, The"

The song "30 Days Back" by The White Buffalo tells the story of a war veteran struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The war ended for him 30 days ago, but its echoes still torment his soul.

He doubts the correctness of his decision to go to war ("still thinking about my decision, checking my motives"), is tired of the war ("too long in the desert, too long in the sun"), and is tormented by the search for meaning ("still looking for answers, but I don't find any").

The burden of experience ("heavy head, heavy heart") and the inability to cope with mental pain ("and it's too hard to heal") push him to suicidal thoughts ("I put the barrel in my mouth to feel something real"). He feels like a broken system programmed to kill ("they raised me strong, made me insensitive and cruel, and sent me home another killing machine").

The song conveys all the pain and despair faced by war veterans trying to return to civilian life.