The meaning of the lyrics of the song "Civilian" by the artist "Wye Oak"

Wye Oak's "Civilian" delves into the complexities of self-acceptance and intimate relationships. The lyrics paint a picture of a narrator grappling with their own identity and the weight of their past.

The opening lines, "I am nothing without pretend / I know my own mind / And I can't live in it," introduce a sense of internal conflict. The narrator acknowledges a disconnect between their true self and the facade they present to the world. Their own thoughts are a source of turmoil, suggesting a struggle with self-doubt and inner criticism.

The image of "baby teeth on the nightstand" serves as a poignant metaphor for clinging to the past. These remnants of childhood represent a longing for simpler times and an inability to fully embrace the present.

The line "You're still sleeping in bed with me, my jewelry and my baby teeth" can be interpreted in a couple of ways. It could be addressed to a significant other, someone who accepts the narrator despite their flaws and emotional baggage. Alternatively, "you" could represent the narrator's past, a constant presence that they can't seem to escape.

The lyrics hint at social anxieties and a difficulty connecting with others: "I don't need another friend / 'Cause I can hardly keep up with most of them." This could stem from a fear of vulnerability, a sense of being misunderstood, or the overwhelming nature of their internal world.

The metaphor "I'm getting really good at holding my own hand / But I still can't kiss myself on the neck" speaks volumes about the narrator's struggle with self-love. While they may be capable of self-support ("holding their own hand"), they haven't achieved true self-acceptance and intimacy ("kissing themselves on the neck").

The narrator expresses a desire to give their all in love but is held back by the fear of mundane reality. They yearn for an all-consuming love, echoing the depth of their ancestors' affection ("like my mother's mother's mother loved"), but find themselves grappling with the complexities of modern relationships.

The repetition of "Like everybody loves" at the end of the song carries a sense of bitter irony. The narrator recognizes the discrepancy between their idealized view of love and the realities of human connection, leaving them with a lingering sense of longing and disappointment.