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The meaning of the lyrics of the song "Travel Instructions Before Going Abroad, or Half an Hour at the Local Committee" (Instrukciya pered poezdkoy za rubej, ili Polchasa v mestkome) the performer of the song "Vladimir Vysotsky"

I finished the forging yesterday,

Covered two plans with tin,

And landed myself on a business trip

From the factory, you see.

Washed off the soot and grime in the shower,

Ate a cold ide,

And listened to the instructions –

What's allowed, and what's denied.

They've got it better over there,

Life is good, I hear it said,

So I wouldn't mess things up,

He filled my head,

He gave me a brochure to read,

A warning, you see,

So I wouldn't live there foolishly,

Like we do, you and me.

He spoke to me like a brother,

About the treacherous foreign land,

About a trip to the democrats,

In the Polish city of Budapest:

"They have a peculiar way of life there,

It's hard for us to understand,

You try, brother, if you can,

To show them some respect, lend a hand.

There'll be debates with vodka flowing,

Your answer should be clear:

"No, my democratic fellows,

Only tea for me, I fear!"

From their gifts, you must sternly turn away,

As if you're above it all,

Say, "We have enough of that stuff anyway,

We've got it all!"

He said, "Living in comfort,

Be thrifty, but don't be a fool.

And look, don't you dare pull a stunt,

Don't starve on dry gruel!

In this Czech Budapest,

Times are such these days,

Maybe they'll say 'eat and drink,'

But maybe they'll give you no praise!"

Oh, I'll wander through the markets in Hungary,

Gaze at the German, Romanian girls,

The democrats, my buddies assured me,

Don't take a dime from Soviet swirls.

"But the bourgeois infection,

Is lurking everywhere you roam,

Beware, more than your own reflection,

Of extramarital affairs, close to home.

They have spies with bodies so fit,

You show them the door, they'll climb in the window!

Tell them that with that sort of thing,

We're done, long ago.

They might not act so directly,

They'll slip into your train compartment with a ruse,

Pretend to be a man so perfectly,

While hiding explosives in their shoes,

So check what gender,

Your neighbor might be!"

Then I started to question him so,

"I'm afraid I'll make a blunder,

How do I check? Reach under their clothes?

I'll get punched, I wonder!"

But the instructor, he's a tough nut,

A man of action, through and through,

And so it started all over again,

About the treacherous foreign land, it's true...

I explain it clearly, for those unaware,

That I'm off to see the Bulgarians in Budapest,

"If any topics come up,

Just drop them, don't fret,

No need to fight, if they don't understand,

Just explain, and forget!"

"But I don't speak their language, not a word,

Not a clue, not a single sound,

Give me a hammer, I'll reshape any bird,

Into my own kind, I'm duty-bound!

But I'm not an agitator, you see,

I'm a blacksmith, born and bred,

I won't go to Ulaanbaatar with the Poles, you and me,

That's settled, let's put it to bed!"

Lying with my wife, I can't sleep a wink,

"Dusya, oh Dusya, my dear,

Maybe I should ditch this foreign trip, what do you think?

I'm out of my depth, I fear.

I'm not one of them, I'll just run away,

I don't understand a thing they say!"

Dusya slumbers like a child,

Her hair in curlers so tight,

She answers me in her sleep, so mild,

"You know, Kolya, don't pick a fight...

Why are you so timid, Kolya, it's true,

I swear I'll divorce you one day,

Twenty years we've been together, me and you,

And it's always 'Dusya, Dusya,' come what may.

You promised, and then you forgot, I say,

Oh, how could you do this to me?

To bring me oilcloth from Bangladesh, on your way,

Save a couple of rupees, for me,

Bring back something, anything, I decree!"

I fell asleep, embracing my wife,

My tender Dusya, so dear,

I dreamt I was forging a new life,

A shield and a sword, to hold dear,

They have different standards, you see,

If you don't understand, they'll swallow you whole,

And I kept dreaming of Hungarian ladies,

With beards and guns, taking their toll.

I dreamt of Dusya's oilcloth,

Beige in its hue,

And brazen spies in Bangladesh,

Causing a ruckus, it's true...

I'll live with the Romanians, God willing, I say,

They say they're from the Volga, just like us, hooray!

Oh, these women and their ways, it's true,

She waved goodbye, and began to sing,

Ironed my shirts, a lovely view,

A joy that these small things can bring.

Farewell, my blacksmith's workshop, dear,

Down to the last nail, you're my kin!

Farewell, my ambitious plan, so clear,

Overfulfilled, where do I begin!

We drank, the alcohol coursed through my veins,

All the way to the airport, I cried,

As I walked towards the plane,

A voice behind me, like a tide,

"Who are you leaving us for,

Nikolai, our guide!"

Я вчера закончил ковку —

Я два плана залудил —

И в загранкомандировку

От завода угодил.

Копоть-сажу смыл под душем,

Съел холодного язя

И инструкцию послушал —

Что там можно, что нельзя.

Там у них пока что лучше

бытово,

Так чтоб я не отчубучил

не того —

Он мне дал прочесть брошюру

как наказ,

Чтоб не вздумал жить там сдуру,

как у нас.

Говорил со мной, как с братом,

Про коварный зарубеж,

Про поездку к демократам

В польский город Будапешт:

"Там у них уклад особый —

Нам так сразу не понять,

Ты уж их, браток, попробуй

Хоть немного уважать.

Будут с водкою дебаты —

отвечай:

"Нет, ребяты-демократы, —

только чай!"

От подарков их сурово

отвернись:

Мол, у самих добра такого

завались!"

Он сказал: "Живя в комфорте —

Экономь, но не дури.

И гляди, не выкинь фортель —

С сухомятки не помри!

В этом чешском Будапеште

Уж такие времена —

Может, скажут "пейте-ешьте",

Ну а может — ни хрена!"

Ох, я в Венгрии на рынок

похожу,

На немецких на румынок

погляжу!

Демократки, уверяли

кореша,

Не берут с советских граждан

ни гроша.

"Но буржуазная зараза

Там всюду ходит по пятам,

Опасайся пуще глаза

Ты внебрачных связей там.

Там шпиёнки с крепким телом:

Ты их в дверь — они в окно!

Говори, что с этим делом

Мы покончили давно.

Могут действовать они

не прямиком:

Шасть в купе — и притвориться

мужиком,

А сама наложит тола

под корсет...

Ты проверяй, какого пола

твой сосед!"

Тут давай его пытать я:

"Опасаюсь — маху дам.

Как проверить? Лезть под платье —

Так схлопочешь по мордам!"

Но инструктор — парень дока,

Деловой, попробуй срежь!

И опять пошла морока

Про коварный зарубеж...

Я популярно объясняю

для невежд:

Я к болгарам уезжаю

в Будапешт.

"Если темы там возникнут —

сразу снять,

Бить не нужно, а не вникнут —

разъяснять!" —

"Но я ж по-ихнему — ни слова,

Ни в дугу и ни в тую!

Молот мне — так я любого

В своего перекую!

Но ведь я не агитатор,

Я потомственный кузнец...

Да я к полякам в Улан-Батор

Не поеду, наконец!"

Сплю с женой, а мне не спится:

"Дусь, а Дусь!

Может, я без заграницы

обойдусь?

Я ж не ихнего замесу —

я сбегу,

Ну, я ж на ихнем — ни бельмеса,

ни гугу!"

Дуся дремлет как ребёнок,

Накрутивши бигуди,

Отвечает мне спросонок:

"Знаешь, Коля, — не пи... не зуди!

Что ты, Коля, больно робок —

Я с тобою разведусь!

Двадцать лет живём бок о бок —

И всё время: "Дуся, Дусь..."

Обещал — забыл ты, нешто?

ох, хорош! —

Что клеёнку с Бангладешта

привезёшь.

Сбереги там пару рупий,

не бузи,

Хоть чего — хоть чёрта в ступе —

привези!"

Я уснул, обняв супругу,

Дусю нежную мою,

Снилось мне, что я кольчугу,

Щит и меч себе кую —

Там у них другие мерки:

Не поймёшь — съедят живьём,

И всё снились мне венгерки

С бородами и с ружьём.

Снились Дусины клеёнки

цвета беж

И нахальные шпиёнки

в Бангладеш...

Поживу я, воля божья,

у румын —

Говорят, они с Поволжья,

как и мы!

Вот же женские замашки:

Провожала — стала петь,

Отутюжила рубашки —

Любо-дорого смотреть.

До свиданья, цех кузнечный,

Аж до гвоздика родной!

До свиданья, план мой встречный,

Перевыполненный мной!

Пили мы — мне спирт в аорту

проникал,

Я весь путь к аэропорту

проикал.

К трапу я, а сзади в спину —

будто лай:

"Да на кого ж ты нас покинул,

Николай!"

Vladimir Vysotsky's song "Instructions before a Trip Abroad, or Half an Hour in the Local Committee" satirizes the ignorance and prejudice of Soviet people towards foreign countries. The main character, a simple worker named Kolya, is about to go on his first business trip abroad. Before leaving, he receives a briefing at the local committee, full of absurd stereotypes about the "decaying West" and "insidious foreign lands."

The instructor, not distinguished by his intelligence, frightens Kolya with "democrats," "female spies with strong bodies," and other fictional dangers. Kolya himself, although eager to go abroad, is also far from understanding the realities of other countries, confusing Poland with Hungary and Ulan Bator with Romania.

The song humorously highlights the absurdity of the Soviet propaganda machine and the isolation it imposed on its citizens. The characters' confusion and fear of the unknown are both comical and tragic, reflecting the larger societal anxieties of the time.

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